The Godfather in “Vinegar, Sweat and Lysol disinfectant spray”

Scene: The Godfather standing at the kitchen door wearing his pink biohazard suit, his white rubber Prada boots, a bottle of Lysol disinfectant spray in one hand and his Channel bag on the other. His usual long blond wig covered by a Hermes scarf.

- Vito!
- Yes godfather?!
- Where are you going, you pig!?
- Sir, I can’t stand this foul smell
- But Vito, (slap in the face) what am I suppose to do?
- I don’t know sir, I can’t think straight
- You were never straight you fat queen (slap)
- I know sir… but this smell is impairing my judgment
- Judgment, what judgment? (Slap) I told you not to let Hilda (the hippo) in the house… now she killed Tony the reindeer and the house smells like a fucking dumpster, you fatso!
- I know sir, but I had no choice! I was hungry!
- (Slap). Hungry? You were fucking horny!!! Don’t lie to me. I know what you were about to do! Now look at this kitchen!
- I’ll take care of it sir… I'll give Madame Help a call and she will clean it up!
- Who the hell is Madame Help?
- The made sir… remember? She is also known as “Socorro” or "Maria of the Socorro", I believe!
- (Slap)… She better come now, otherwise I’ll be forced to sell the house back… with you and this Zoo in it.
- I am sorry sir, but Michael is unable to take the house back at this moment!
- Whatever, (slap), I’ll sell it to Elton! And where is this Help woman?
- Well, she lives in Brazil, but I already sent the jet to pick her up.
- (Slap)… and what are we suppose to do for the next 15 hours?
- What if we barbecue Tony?
- Ok, I'll get the beer!

O cara era de plástico

Sim, plástico. Daquele que mancha e pega cheiro ruim.
Daquele que derrete. Daquele que em pouco tempo se torna imprestável.
Plástico que nem se quer era reciclável.

Não, não era cristal. Não era cristalex. Não era nem vidro.
Não era de louça e nem de cerâmica.
Era plástico mesmo. E não era Bohemia.

Nem se quer era de grife.
Era plástico... fosco, derretido, rachado, mal cheiroso e manchado.