The Godfather – La Vendetta

Scene: The Godfather standing in front of his garage looking over 26 cars. Dressing in his pink Speed Racer outfit, Hermes scarf tied around the neck, high Prada boots, Lacroix sunglasses, and the usual long blond wig.

- Vito!

- Yes Godfather?

- Vito… did you have the Rolls detailed?

- I am sorry Godfather, but I called Jemaine and apparently he had a death in the family.

- Well. I’ll take the Ferrari instead. I kind of hate this car, but you know, not everyone owns a Blue Mozart Ferrari.

- Yes Godfather. Ever since you stole it from Don Luv, he is trying to get back at you. Poor man, and on top of everything he is colorblind!

- Vito! (slap in the face). I did not still anything; he forgot the car here after that dreadful incident with Hilda. And why is he color blind?

- Well Sir, the car is obviously purple!

- Vito! (slap in the face)… Purple your ass, the car is blue, blue Mozart!

- Yes godfather. I’ll bring the car around.

(A few hours later)

(Vito’s phone rings… “YMCA, It’s fun to be at the YMC…”)

- Godfather’s assistant, may I help you?

- Vito! You enormous peace of crap, slap your own face!

- Yes Godfather (self slap), but what happened?

- Someone try to kill me!

- Dear God!

- Vito! (Slap yourself again). God has nothing to do with this. Come pick me up and we will discuss it!

- Yes Godfather (another self slap), but where are you sir?

- I am at the gates!

- The gates? The gates of what?

- The gates of hell you Village People loving fat bastard!

- Yes Godfather. I am on my way!

- And Vito. Call Miss S. Bombomlazangny. Desperate times call for desperate measures!

- But Godfather, she is in Osmussaar!

- Say what? Osmu the who?

- Osmussaar sir… it is an island off the cost of Estonia.

- Vito… I envy these people with creativity. However, what ever happened to New York, Paris, London, Rome… Why in the hell people choose an island with an awful and unpronounceable name to go visit?

- Well sir, apparently there is a big hit persons congress there.

- Well, I don’t care… I need the best hit person I can get! Make her an offer… an offer she can’t refuse!

- Yes Godfather, but she won’t be back for another month!

- I will get my revenge Vito… You will see… “La vendetta è un piatto che va gustato freddo!”
- Yes Godfather