The Godfather – Who’s Vito?

Scene: The Godfather standing in the middle of his very sober panic room in his Gucci sweatpants and D&G t-shirt. 2.000 bottles of Stella, 2.000 cases of Beluga Caviar, 2,000 white towels, 2.000 cans of red bull, 2.000 “E” pills, 2,000 copies of Titanic, 2.000 red and black Hermes’ scarves and 2.000 black left-hand gloves with only the middle finger cut off.

- Vito!

- Yes Godfather?

- Vito, (Godfather sobbing) you have no idea who left us!

- Oh Godfather. So I’ve heard. I am very sorry sir!

- Vito! I believe I am going to lock myself in my panic room until someone figure out a cure for all our addictions!

- But Godfather! You will die in there!

- No, Vito! I will life forever through my eccentricities. I will never be forgotten.

- But Godfather! That’s not what I said. I said you would die in there…

- Vito (gentle slap in the face), What are you saying… that I’ll die and no one will remember me?

- No sir! (Well, with this much ego, how could we? just thought)

- Yes Vito… I will die but I will not be forgotten!

- But Godfather, what am I suppose to do?

- Vito, my faithful shield-men, I have no fucking idea, but I felt you a shit load of money, so go buy yourself an island, a midget and plane and call it Vito’s Land or something as corny.

- But Godfather! Who is Vito without you?

- I don’t know Vito… but I don’t want to be part of a world without Barack Obama!

- What are you talking about, Godfather?

- Vito (very strong slap in the face), he died you moron!

- But sir, it was Michael Jackson who died!

- What!?

- Yes Godfather!

- Vito! (another slap), I told you not to mess with my xanax, my valium, my beer, my weed, my E, and my vicky! I can’t see straight without them.

- I am sorry sir!

- Well, he was not as black as Barack... but he was as famous, as complicated, as powerful and as well-known. He will have to do!

- What are you doing sir!

- Goodbye Vito! Goodbye my dear old Vito… (Sobs)… But don’t forget to open this fucking door in a couple hours… I don’t want to be known as the guy who drowned in his own life.
- Yes Godfather!