The Godfather – Intimidation for all! (part two)

Scene: The Godfather lying in his enormous bed holding the newspaper. Golden silk sheets, 250 throw pillows on the floor, dimed lights, and the fire place burning the last of the morning wood.

- Vito… Vito!

- Yes Godfather?

- Vito, (slap in the crotch) I told you to keep Hilda in her cage last night!

- But I did sir. Someone must have let her out! I am sorry sir!

- Sorry! You should be begging for your life. We are in the newspaper today!

- What do you mean sir?

- What do I mean… You fuck. She ate Don Luvetta!

- What? But I saw him leaving this morning with three of the vertically challenged go-go girls!

- What? (slap in face)

- Yes sir! Oh, come to think of it… he smelled pretty awful, She must have pooped him out!

- Oh, thank God! Can you imaging me explaining such a thing to that ambulance umbrella looking bitch wife of his?... Oh, dear Anna… I am sorry to tell you but Don Luv has climbed the roof… and she would go: “OH, MY GOOD, INHÉUM… HOW IS HE, INHÉUM?... WHY WAS HE CLIMBING THE ROOF, INHÉUM?”... Well, that's an expression (you moron - I tought) But he is ok. Hilda ate him but pooped him out right away!... and she would go: “I TOLD HIM NOT TO MIX WITH LIKES OF YOU, INHÉUM!... AND WHAT THE FUCK IS HILDA, INHÉUM?”… Hilda is my pet hippo. “NOT EVEN A HIPPO WANTED THAT WORKAHOLIC, FLAMENCO GUITAR PLAYING, WINE DRINKING, RISOTTO EATING, SON OF BITCH, INHÉUM?... Well, Anna, Hilda is very particular about her diet (ooops, time to shut up)…

- Well, Godfather, I would go a different way…

- Than how, you fatso!

- Well, I would have told her he came for the usual Friday night Russian Rolette Poker game and he lost!

- That is true Vito… sometimes you amaze me with your wisdom.

- Thank you sir

- And Vito… get me a coke with lots of ice, a tomato juice and two Tylenol. This hangover is killing me.

- Yes Godfather!